I know I’m late with these picks but my completely disgusting gluttony over the Thanksgiving holidays has rendered me to one-big-lop of couch potato camel poop. But make no mistake kiddo’s I peeled my lazy butt off the pleather and grabbed myself a dried up turkey sammich with way too much mayo and not enough salt to dig deep into my research to bring you another round of embarrassment to me and my lack of football knowledge.
It’s time to pinch your pennies my friends and scrap any idea of buying that new TV, Xbox or any Apple product and save your hard-earned money to lay it on the line. You know what time it is my gambling miscreants, it’s time to listen up and heed the advice of the eggs® Sledgehammer knee cap – cracking NFL locks of the week.
The Jets -2 over the Dolphins at New Jersey New York I would rather be attacked by a roving gang of black Friday grandma’s digging and scratching for a 19 inch flat screen TV and then have my lifeless carcass dumped into the never-ending mud pit that used to be the St. Charles street car line than to watch this complete waste of TV airspace or computer bandwidth.
Rex Ryan has been a complete disappointment this year, win a game lose a game and so on, come on Rex give the egg® something to work with here. I need you to freak out on some feet or something, I mean I have nothing, a tattoo of Sanchez on your big fat melon tiny lap band elegant physique would work wonders. I wished you played the Patriots sixteen games a year Rex, at least we could witness ineptness in a grandeur scale that we have not seen the likes of since…well…since Mike Smith annually getting owned by Sean Payton.
I’m too tired to go on a rampage about Miami; I mean who really cares what these backwards idiots are up to anyways, so I’ll just make the pick. The Jets 24 Miami 13, Tannibum gets sacked twelve times and Mark Gastineau destroys all of his furniture doing a drunken sack dance in his doublewide.
Okay this is a condensed version of this irrelevant trash so let’s get to the meat and bones of it…..
Your New Orleans Saints +5 over the Seahawks in Seattle I don’t understand this line, I really don’t. Keep an eye on it over the weekend to see how it moves, the big money (not your weekend warriors) have yet to move it, I have a feeling it will go down.
Alright I know I am biased and probably blinded by my fandom but I like the Saints in this game, shocker huh? Everybody is talking about the noise, the weather, the crowd noise; I don’t look at it this way. I look at it as Drew Brees vs. Russell Wilson point-blank, who is better and who is clutch? As my partner in crime KTDL correctly pointed out in her last article ( you can see it HERE ) the last time Brees played in that environment he played really well.
Of course protecting the ball is paramount and being patient will pay dividends in a slugfest but it will come down to the triggermen, make no mistake about it.
Yes there are subplots with our defense vs. their defense and it is important for a solid performance from them but I have a feeling BOTH defenses will bring it, so it goes back to it, who would you rather Brees or Wilson? I rest my case.
This one’s going to be close gang so grab a cold one and put your man pants and throw your mistletoe in the lovie dovie fire-place because it will come down to the end. The Saints squeak one out with the defense stopping the Seahawks on a desperation drive….Saints 24 the Seahawks 20
Whelp sorry about the abbreviated picks this week, so cry me a river and jump in it crybabies because come Tuesday you won’t remember a damn thing I typed and neither will I and to that I say as always….WHO DAT!!!!!!